The Courage to be Disliked

During Thanksgiving sale in Book store, this book caught my attention. “The Courage to be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The tag line of the book said, “The Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to change your life and achieve real happiness.”

The entire book is in dialogue format which happens between a philosopher and a young man. In a way that makes this book interesting to read. Another interesting aspect of this book, the philosopher keeps introducing new terms and/or concepts while explaining. It feels as if he is adding one bead at a time to make a nicely tied bead garland.

I could relate a lot with the young man’s questions, doubts, and emotions during the start of the book. As we progress, each of the doubts gets clarified with the explanations given by the philosopher. One thing which I could not relate with the young man is the harsh words which he uses to oppose the philosopher.

This book talks about many aspects which will really help us to lead a happy life. Will it be easy to follow, never, it is not easy. To me, many of them were tough to understand and digest, following those comes later. It is worth reading the book rather than a summary. Here is the glimpse of the wisdom shared by the philosopher:

• Your past doesn’t dictate your future. No experience is a cause of our success or failure. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them. What happened in the past matters less than how we interpret and respond to them.
• All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems. This is the critical message of this book. It talks about the following:
• Don't intruding in other people's tasks or having our tasks intruded on.
• Instead of getting stressed because others aren’t completing their tasks to your expectations, draw a boundary — “From here on, that is not my task.” And discard other people’s tasks.
• Most importantly, don’t expect others to approve our task or behavior. Deny the desire for recognition.
• To have the courage to be disliked, we need to be able to look at others as equals, not above or below us. Redefining your hierarchy in the world can change your life for the better

As I mentioned, these are tough to understand and digest. I wish I could follow them to achieve real happiness.