Empty nest

We all know that one event or a situation can create extremely opposite reactions for 2 different individuals. Happy moment for winner of the game, the opposite emotion for the opponent. We have also seen few situations which creates 2 opposite emotions for the same person. One such is Rohit’s travel to US for pursuing his Under-graduation. While I am extremely excited and happy for Rohit’s dream come true moment, it saddened me as he will be travelling away from me.

The entire plan of studying abroad started when he visited my brother’s family in US during his 10th grade annual vacation. 2 years of struggle by Rohit with the guidance of his admission counselor and his teachers helped him to achieve his dream. Uncertainty was chasing him (in fact all the kids of his batch) in every step – AS level exam dates, SAT exams getting cancelled multiple times, whether A level exams will happen or not, Unavailability of US Visa appointments, Flights getting cancelled. He crossed all these stages successfully.

While we were on the way to the airport to send off Rohit, I was thinking about the bond we both shared. It was 13th Mar 2003 at 4 AM when I got slight pain and woke up from my sleep. As time went by, pain increased and frequency started decreasing, that’s when my mother-in-law asked me to get ready to go to hospital. At exactly 1:50 PM, our bundle of joy was born. Life changed from that moment. Being a working mother, I had lot of struggles in handling both. Without my mother-in-law’s support it would not have been possible for me to continue my career. 

Few incidents which I can never forget. I was working in a Production support project in Cognizant around 2007. I was in early shift that day which means I must be in office at 7 AM and cab pick up is at 6 AM. When I was about to step out of the house to board the cab, Rohit said “Mummy, Madiyila Paṭuttukanum” which means he wants to lay on my lap. If he says that it means that he is missing me. Though I had a confusion for a nano-second on what to do, I immediately decided to stay back. Also informed the cab driver and my teammate that I will be late to office. This incident made our family to decide that we should move closer to office so that I reduce the travel time and spend more time with Rohit. We shifted from Vadapalani to Medavakkam.

This shift in place allowed us to spend more time than before. We would have heard that movie Heros appoints a manager to handle their appointments, I became the manager for my little Hero. I always maintained the plan (like the project in office) for Rohit. His exams schedules, tuitions, extra-curricular activities were all planned managed by me. In this process, we used to fight a lot for small issues, but a hug and kiss will solve the problem between us. Eventually “Huggie and Kissee” became a daily ritual for us. Even as a teenager, he followed that routine.

After his 12th board exams, I could see a transformation in Rohit. First thing which I noticed is that he refused to listen to me, second, he started handling his activities on his own. Though I felt hurt initially, I understood that it is important for him to be independent. Slowly our interactions reduced, and I accepted it as I must get prepared for his stay away from me.

Many times, I have felt burdened to balance between work and personal life. During those moments I have said no to Rohit for his “Mummy, Madiyila Paṭuttukanum” and “Huggie and Kissee”. Now I feel bad for saying No to him. I have heard people talking about empty nest, it is hard to be in this phase. One good thing is, I have lot of good memories. All the very best for your bright future Rohit. A tight hug and lots of kisses to you.