Goodbye 2020

Only 2 more days left for 2021, finally 2020 is coming to an end. 2020 had been a roller coaster ride for many of us due to multiple reasons. One common reason across the globe being COVID. Last year the same time, if someone would have said that we will have to stay indoors for months together, we would thought that it was an impossible one. We would have never imagined that Office, college, school can go completely online. Everything is online now, we even attended a wedding online, luckily the bride and the groom were physically present in the marriage hall, just that the relatives watched the marriage online.

Apart from COVID, my professional life had the worst time starting from 2^nd January 2020. That is the day when I learnt about my new role and new manager. When I was told about this change, I was not worried about it, I know Change is inevitable and I must accept and move on. So, I was ready to adapt myself to the change. But it only took 2-3 weeks to realize what kind of a mess I had landed into. Next 3 months was hell, I tried my best to manage, I could not succeed at all. I even started doubting my own potential and lost my confidence. That's when I decided to give up by ending my career or at least taking a break without knowing what next. Having worked for 22 years, (I have not taken any break, except for the 84 days of maternity leave), it was a very tough decision to make. 

Month of May and June took a toll on my physical and mental health due to the decision which I took regarding my professional career. Towards the end of June, a miracle happened. I happened to talk to my colleague, he suggested me to talk a senior member in a different unit. That conversation changed the entire situation. He offered me a new role and obviously new manager Leader. Life took a U-Turn, new unit, new account, new set of colleagues, of course my new leader, what else do I need to motivate myself.

From July, I started working on my new assignment. People were welcoming and friendly, they supported me well and helped me to settle down comfortably. Tight schedules, late night calls, but nothing bothered me. I started enjoying my work. Despite these tight schedules, I managed to complete a management course and cleared a technical certification as well. I understood one thing: if you are surrounded by positive people, you will also slowly become positive and start succeeding. I got few such positive people who helped me to come out of my past and start focusing on the present. I am grateful to those wonderful souls who are always willing to support me. Feeling blessed to have them around.

Though the first half of 2020 was pathetic one for me, the second half of the year compensated all of that with lots of goodness like friendly colleagues, collaborative teams, and supportive leader. I would like to Thank each one of them who made me smile and laugh. Goodbye 2020. Hope 2021 will be peaceful and happy year for everyone. Wish you and your family a happy, healthy and peaceful new year 2021.

Pampering

One winter morning, I was sleeping under a cozy blanket feeling the warmth of it. From far away, I heard a sweet mesmerizing voice saying "Kanna, get up, it is already 9 AM". A bright smile appeared on my face when I heard that voice. Though I woke up, I didn't feel like getting up from the bed. I was feeling so lazy to get up. After all, that was a Saturday morning, I had no hurry to get up and get ready for office. After a hectic week schedule, I wanted to go easy on weekends, especially mornings.

Heard a buzz from my mobile, that was a WhatsApp video message alert. I opened it and saw a forward of a mother pampering a baby girl. I started thinking about my childhood days. My parents were very strict and I never got any pampering or pet name. I used to witness my neighbours being called with pet names and getting lot of pampering. I have not seen anything of such kind happening to me or my brother (younger). One satisfaction was that it was not due to my gender. That itself was such a relief for me.

Days went by, I finished my studies, got a job and got married. When Rohit was born, I realized that I didn't even know how I should pamper him. I used copy from MIL and my husband. Over the period of time, I learnt to pamper him. Years went by, learnt many things in life, switched companies, met many new people, handled critical situations, attained certain height in professional and personal life. Despite all these, one thing which was haunting me was the fact that I was not pampered.

One can be independent and strong, but the child in them will surely long for something which they were deprived of. I started understanding that I had this longing for not being pampered. That's when I thought about pampering my own self. When you lack internal motivation, you seek external motivation. On contrary, when you lack external pampering, you can always seek internal pampering.

While I thinking about these, the same mesmerizing voice called me again, "Ammu, get up, have breakfast, it's already late".  I know that I cannot laze around anymore. So I got up with full happiness to face the new day. 

Wondering whose voice is that. It is none other than my own soul. Each time my alarm goes on, I have wired my mind to think that I am being pampered. My soul keeps talking to me throughout the day, I receive a lot of pampering. In fact I am overwhelmed by the pampering which receive from my soul. Life is beautiful. I have my own dreamland, where I am an unquestioned queen. Only 2 of us live in that dreamland, me and my soul. 

Till I meet you in the next blog, its me A̶m̶m̶u̶, Kavitha signing off. Stay safe and be happy. 

Restarting....

It has been really long time since I wrote anything, be it a blog or article to magazine. If I remember correctly, the last one I wrote was around Dec 2017 and that was an article titled "A promise" which was published in Infinthoughts January 2018 edition, actually that was a dedication to my mother on her birthday.

After that I never felt like writing anything. I used to wonder why am I not feeling like writing at all. Then I realized that I was too disturbed due to various reasons which included health issues, priorities both at personal and professional front. Especially from Jan 2020, the situation worsened. Corona seemed to be better virus comparing to few human viruses around us. I don't want to talk about them as I will let Karma take care of them.

After 2.5 years, I felt like writing today. You got it right, for the last 3 weeks, I am all excited, I could see that I am bouncing back. I always used to say that my all time favorite project was TMH, today I am having the same level of happiness which I used have during TMH days. I strongly believe that whatever you do with passion can only lead you to success, I am hoping my current journey will also lead me towards success.

More than the destination, I would love to enjoy the journey very much. When we are asked to carry a 5 kg rice bag, we will feel it is heavy and would look for an option to keep it down at the earliest, at the same time, when we are asked carry our own baby who is almost of the same weight, we never feel the weight, but we will only feel the love for the kid. That's how I feel about my current journey. The previous one (especially the last 6 months) was like carrying a rice bag, where as the current one is like holding my baby in hand.

I wish and pray that this journey helps me to be passionate about what I do. My blog journey started during the happy days in TMH and now I am restarting my blogs again hoping to continue this. Till I meet you in the next blog, stay safe. Bye